


16 Texts Dan Never Sent

by dvisyhead



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Break Up, Depression, M/M, One Night Stands, Post-Break Up, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 08:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3168251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvisyhead/pseuds/dvisyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil leaves Dan for a girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	16 Texts Dan Never Sent

**Author's Note:**

> could be very triggering, please do not read if you are sensitive to mentions of alcohol, suicidal thoughts or depression.
> 
> just a dumb drabble full of sad writing and what not. no real plot besides mention of phil being with a girl and dan having one night stands to try to feel less alone.

**Dan:** I stay up all night until I can't keep my eyes open because when I shut them all I see is you leaving me.

 **Dan:** I swear I could drown in your deep blue eyes. Maybe I am.

 **Dan:** Vodka burns my throat but your name hurts my head so I would rather black out with a hangover than stare blankly at my hands trying to forget what it was like to touch you. **  
**

 **Dan:** But it's nights like these where I wish so badly that I could be curled up next to you and be able to focus on your breathing and fall asleep to the sound of your heartbeat.  **  
**

**[MISSED CALL FROM: PHIL <3]**

**Dan:** Stop calling my phone. I'm not Dan Howell. I'm not anyone anymore. **  
**

 **Dan:** I woke up crying in the middle of the night for the fourth time this week because you can't seem to stay out of my dreams. I'm sorry I texted you but I got drunk alone in my bathroom so I wouldn't feeling like I had a black hole in my chest when I talked to you.

 **Dan:** I can't stop thinking about you but it's in pieces sometimes I remember the sound of your voice but not the color of your eyes and sometimes it's the other way around it's like having a song you don't know all the words to stuck in your head I can't get it out but I can't keep you in.  **  
**

 **Dan:** Come back I am tired of standing on rooftops at midnight screaming your name when you are in bed screaming hers.

 **Dan:** It's sad not having your around anymore. I'm accepting you're finding your happiness but I'm not accepting that I had already found mine and it was you. Now you're gone and you took all my hope with you.  **  
**

 **Dan:** I forgot your birthday. 6 months ago I could remember the exact number of beauty marks drilling holes into your skin oh god what happened to us. **  
**

 **Dan:** I'm sorry I wasn't her I'm sorry I'm not her I'm sorry I will never be her I'm sorry I'm me.

 **Dan:** Oh god he told me that if I kissed him hard enough I'd forget all about you so I did, I had to.  **  
**

 **Dan:** He had bloodshot eyes and a crooked smile. He held my hand and asked me to stay awhile. He kissed my skin and touched it soft, like it was made of porcelain. I know he just wanted to use me, and that night my love came cheap but he almost made me forget about you. Almost.

 **Dan:** You're just bones and a beating heart and a pair of bright blue eyes how did you fuck me up so bad.

 **Dan:** You always said you didn't want me killing myself. Too bad you did it for me.  **  
**

 **Dan:** You said you lost feelings. But I lost my fucking mind.

 **Dan:**  Im drunk pihl  **[SENT - 1:34 am]**

 **Dan:**  Im drukn and i stil love youu **[SENT - 1:46 am]**

 **Phil <3:** +1(1)216116-11 Error Invalid Number Please re-send using valid 10 digit number. **[RECEIVED - 1:48 am]**

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah hoped you guys enjoyed it!! Comments & kudos are greatly appreciated c:


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